"hey! there is a party.downstairs."

"ya. i know."

"not going?"

"nope"

"why?"

"don't want to."

"are you sure?it looks nice and sounds like people are having fun"

'why wouldn't i be sure?"

"well.. when you asked i think there was a moment's hesitation on your part"

"no, i was reading an interesting book and didn't want be disturbed."

"oh really?? then why are you writing this down right now?finished the 'interesting' book?"

"no"..............................

"well?"

"FINE! but it wasn't that i wanted to go..... its just that....."

"what?"

"all those people!!!"

"what of them?"

"they make me uncomfortable."

"oh please!!!!"

"WHAT?"

"they don't make you uncomfortable when they come to your house for'your'functions. that's bullshit! besides, you should be down there after being invited like they are over at your's. its called common cou-rt-sy....."

"i can't go and sit with a bunch of strange people gawking and gesturing."

"isn't that....."

"and those kids!!! kids are scary.... you never know what they are thinking.. and makes me feel like an idiot to be honest, sitting there being gawked at by children and their parents like a bloody zoo animal."

"and of course.. there are no people there that are not so creepy right??"

"i never said that."

"yes you did. that is exactly what you said.you sit around the house sulking and complaining that"i need to get out of this house". "i am so alone" "i need to interact with more people" "i don't know "whats what" and other such crap. how is it supposed to come about when it's not DONE in the first place? you were about to go today. you know you can handle 'people'. what is it that you are so scared of? as stifling as you say this confinement has become.. you are now used to it aren't you?

you like it!"

"I DON'T LIKE IT! but yes it does sort of protects me from outside."

"outside?"

"yes outside... what if they told me exactly what they thought of me? what if i don't 'fit in' so to say? and another thing.... all these people that we meet nowadays... they are all about my age.. with families.. and lives and stuff. i feel like an outsider. i know what I'am doing is not....... quite right.. but i am too scared to feel even more lonely and scared than I already do. i know that that is not a solution, but it does serve as a shield. i go and talk to people, and even if i get along with them, and make some sort of a connection... at the end of the day I am in my bed thinking of everything feeling happy and then suddenly come out of it with a realisation of how much i want to NOT think about it."

"i see...so what should we do?"

I.................................